Michael Vaughan said he did not put himself forward for next week's Indian Premier League auction because his primary focus is a recall to England's Test team.

A late offer of 100 rupees by the "Blouse Wearing Poodle Walking Kings" was serioulsy considered before Vaughan realised that he can't play the game anyway and there were likely to be those annoying "fwies" that "always make me want to go home early" according to an inside source.